Goddamn! Just what I needed. This President Foo character dragging me along in this obnoxious adventure of her. I was doing quite fine in my dark and gloomy cave or whatever you’d call those stinking dwellings in the AmazeTheWorld offices. But no! She had to follow her dreams! She had to create her own webshopstuffamadoodlethingie. And she insisted that I would go along with. Because I’m ‘such a fantastic designer’. Goddamn! Why can’t they all leave me alone? Why can’t you leave me alone? Why are you reading this? Just go… do… something else. You pesky little nincompoops. Don’t you have something better to do? It’s summer. Go out. You look like the kind of people that like to flutter and frothle and flabber in the sun. I bet you like summer. Don’t you. With it’s long days and lingering nights, singing and dancing young frolicking people dressed in flowery light cloths, drinking bubbly alcoholic beverages, devouring ice creams and tropical fruity things.
Well, let me tell you: I hate summer. I hate the sultry air crawling over my chest. I hate the sand of dried out roads grating the skin between my toes. I hate the chants of happy people cycling over the hill with ease, just to mock an old man like me. And above all, I hate midges. Don’t tell me you don’t hate midges. Goddamn!